I think valuing "strength" as a character attribute is misleading. To be clear, I'm obviously not talking about how much you can lift- I'm talking about how much life you carry.
My whole life I've mean commended on how strong I am. As if there were ever any other choice....
As I've been building "Siren Stories" - I realize so much of my life has been chaos. What was my other option though?
Well I GUESS I could have allowed myself to *CAN'T* my way through things as so many people I know have - using excuses as to why my life couldn't improve instead of doing everything in my power to improve it myself.
I guess I could have let FEAR hold me back, always afraid of "What If?" instead of LEARNING how to accept most of life is never in our control and what will be? Will be.
I guess I could have chosen COMFORT over change because change is hard but nearly always out of our control and rather inevitable. Embracing change means putting down your reservations and taking a chance, knowing it may be hard, knowing you likely won't like it - but it may lead you to better outcomes and accepting that you can't ever truly know the outcome of anything.
I guess I could have chosen IGNORANCE - using unhealthy behaviors to deflect and justify some of my toxic traits instead of looking in the mirror and avidly accepting my flaws and working to improve what I couldn't live with.
So I guess what I'm saying is - what people often see as "strong" has a lot less to do with strength and a lot more to do with hard work and effort. A willingness to understand how our behaviors and choices may have had anything to do with how we find ourselves in "chaos". For every action there is a reaction. Asking ourselves in what way we may have contributed to an outcome that is less than ideal allows us to discontinue those actions, learn from them and should the same or similar situation present itself again? We have the power to make different choices.
When we are willing to look at what we don't like about ourselves, and rather than judge others to make ourselves feel better? Be real and figure out how you are going to change whatever it is that you don't like about yourself. At times - these things may need creative solutions - or maybe just actual acceptance vs rejection, but finding a way to move past, accept and/or change what we don't like within ourselves will be the only way to grow healthier as we move forward.
I never let my kids say "can't". People play video games without hands using their feet. People compose music without the ability to hear. Zion Clark was born without legs and became the Guinness World Record holder for the fastest 20-meter walk on two hands!
"STRENGTH" as people see it - impresses them - they think, "I could Never...." or "I don't know how that person does ...."
Well I'll tell you- it's not about being "Strong" - it's about CHOICES. CHOOSING Not to be lazy and put in the effort. CHOOSING to do hard shit that people don't want to do. CHOOSING to let go of fear and embrace the unknown. CHOOSING to accept change instead of trying to control and manipulate how and when it may happen.
In the end - if you can ask yourself if you have done everything in your human capability to change something and honestly say that you have? You'll likely already be more willing to live with the subject at hand....
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